2004-10-05

I Am Just Living to be Lying By Your Side

I watched Moonlight Mile. My sister owns it on DVD and I watched it all the way through for the first time. I had tears in my eyes at two parts but the tears didn't fall. I liked it a lot.

School sucks. This kid was teasing me today and I was in my homework class, and he said my hair was red because somebody shot me and blood got all over or some horseshit and I said, "You know, you're not even being funny or cool. You're being frickin' retarded, so SHUT UP". That fuck.

My school pictures came into today. I couldn't stop staring at it. I don't know my thoughts on it. I just don't feel alive. I'll be in class and I have to TELL myself that I am there. I don't feel like I'm here. I can't explain it good enough but it's been like this for a long time.

I'm depressed all the time and I'm numb. Listless. I feel like I'm dying.

I saw them hug again. I kind of hate it. It's more of a jealous hate because I'm not the one who is being loved by him. I hate being hated by someone you like very much.

turbogeek at 8:12 p.m.

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