2004-09-10

Oozing Out My Eyeballs

I feel ill. I want to be somebody's but I don't think anybody wants me. I think Owen has a crush on me. I think Michael sneaks peeks at me and I keep eyeing him secretly throughout homework time and get the best of boyish looks.

My mind feels polluted. I feel so clogged. Not to mention, I have a headache and I've been tired for the past four days but it seems that I just don't know anymore.

As much as fun it is to make fun of everyone around me, my parents hate it. I begin to think they hate me as a person and I don't blame them. I'm not sad this is happening. Anyone can hate me, I don't care. I tell them that I am just expressing my opinion of stuff and dad said it's always negative.

And I drag and slouch and walk slow through the house with my eyes feeling heavy and my head pounding and my stomach hurting and my eyes burning and it all comes down to whether or not I should eat, drink, or not eat or drink.

Mallrats and The Big Lebowski wasn't at Blockbuster, so I got Clerks X and Dogma. I watched half of Clerks [I've seen it already] and have never seen Dogma.

I fear that I'm not good enough for anyone. I fear that I will die in my sleep. I fear that my heart will stop beating. I fear high school. I fear growing up.

But being stuck in time would suck. Later on I'll vent about how nobody can fucking relate to me.

turbogeek at 10:41 p.m.

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